Hi! This page will tell you all sorts of things about me. Within this page I comment on my psychology, philosophy, astrology, social style, spirituality, relationship models, hedonism and sensuality, materialism and more. Much of the content is seemingly random - because it is! The various 'links' within the text will show you more in-depth information on that topic.
I'm 6 foot 2-1/2 inches and about 260 pounds - think 'burly and broad shouldered.' I came into the world on August 5, 1962, so I'm a Leo and Water Tiger (my complete Astrological info). A Leo/Lion, born in the Year of the Tiger, called Bear -- Can you say "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!"? :)
I was born in Colorado Springs, Colorado but I've been in the San Francisco Bay Area for 40 years plus (since 1963). These days, I live on the border of San Francisco and Daly City in a three bedroom, one bath house. My girlfriend/lover/sweetie/SO Amelia has lived here since February (2005). A roommate makes it three under the roof.
I work in computers (geek!) as an IT guy - servers, networking, desktops, some web, etc. At home I have multiple computers with wireless behind a firewall connected to the Internet via 768Kb SDSL. I own lair.org.
To balance the Tech stuff, I'm into pagan spirituality and some other unusual stuff. It helps balance the brain halves. :) I have a decent singing voice but a terrible memory, so I forget lyrics. I used to play cello and guitar, but it's been over a decade. I did one of my first 'art' projects recently by doing some painting - acrylic on plastic lamp shades - to decorate for a party.
Socially, I'm usually a gregarious and outgoing kind of guy. Pretty much typical Leo. I attend parties, am known by lots of people and am generally well-liked. I like to flirt and get a lot of attention, so I can be a bad *party* date for someone who wants to be joined at the hip. Think 'social butterfly'. But, it really depends. If I know many people, then I've very outgoing - but among strangers I'll be rather shy. In an intimate setting, I can zoom in a person and make them feel like the only person on the planet.
Despite some appearances and a rumored reputation, I am not a ladykiller, playboy, slut (in the bad, 'indiscriminate' sense), etc. People see the way some women are with me and assume I must be f**king all of them - it is not at all the case. I have been lovers with some of them over the years, but, most of them simply know that I am a sweet, sexy, fun guy that they can safely share some steamy attention with. :)
I am a seeker of knowledge and insight into Life and myself. Perhaps it's a reflection of my Moon being in Libra (my complete Astrological info), but the overall theme of my life seems to be to learn about 'balance.' I regularly hold or demonstrate what for most people are seemingly contradictory ideas or behaviors. As I grow (up) I am learning that I am just more inclined to grasp things at different levels or from different points of view. To help me along this path I've absorbed things from philosophy, science, psychology, spirituality, etc.
And since I am a human being, learning about me means I will better understand others. This ties in with my desire to be a part of Community. I feel that it is healthy and advantageous for people to exist in extended family or tribal communities. I seek to promote, support and participate in the communities that I am aligned with.
Being on a path of awareness, growth and 'enlightenment' is reflected in my romantic (and sexual) relationships. I tend to be someone who wants a lot of communication, intimacy and openness. Some people would not be happy with the amount and depth of 'processing' that I tend to instigate. Which is probably why I don't do 'casual' very often. :)
My relationship style is 'polyamorous'. One way to describe it is; I am responsibly, ethically, honestly, openly and lovingly non-monogamous. This is not swinging or sleeping around. It's not dating - dating is the process of finding Mr. or Ms. Right - polyamory has no such end goal. It's about the option of having multiple loving, ongoing, perhaps overlapping, relationshipS... plural. No bars around one's heart, as it were. It tends to work best for me with a lot of communication, trust and openness. It is not for everyone. It's NOT easy. It requires a lot of personal development and growth for most people. There are skills to learn, issues to deal with, fears to face and so on. It's a lot of work. But, if it works for you, it's more love, more joy and more fullness. Love Multiplied!
I tend to be both progressive and chivalrous. (More seemingly contradictions from my complex nature :)) In many ways, I am many. I have some possessive and jealous impulses, but they do not dominate me. Of course, being non-monogamous and being capable of jealousy does present some challenges.
In the 80s, I was married and had children; 2 boys, who now live with my ex-wife and her new husband - they are not in my life. In the 90s, I had two capital-R relationships that each lasted over 3 years. Both *R*elationships included handfasting (Year and a Day "trial marriage"). Currently, I am in love with my girl Amelia and we are very happy. We are planning our Handfasting for June 2007
Sexually, I'm varied and broad-ranging -- maybe a bit 'abnormal'. I can be passive or passionate; from sensual and sweet to wicked and sadistic. I like a lot of things and prefer variety in my partner(s). I see sexuality as a beautiful, sacred thing, but I don't think that means you keep it all locked up behind closed doors with just one partner. A proud Ethical Slut, if you will.
My Purity Test score was 21.2% on August 7, 2002.. It would be lower but I don't lie a lot, haven't had sex in a lot of unusual places (like large watercraft and elevators) and haven't done/sold all the drugs. The "weirdness factor" is 50%.
Spiritually, I'm eclectically polytheistic, but you can call me pagan. (smile)
Materialistically, I live within modest but ample means. I have a nice car, multiple computers and as much good music, good wine and liquor and entertainment as I really have any need for. As a somewhat well-employed person (who pays substantial child support) I can afford a nice place to live in an okay neighborhood in the most expensive real estate market in the world. (smile) If I could, I'd have a 'Country House' in the coastal redwoods or high mountains. The 'City House' would be a three-story Victorian with full attic and basement. I want to host a tribe, a clan, if you will. I want to be able to bring people into my protective and loving space and have them be a part of the Family I Choose.
Corporeally, I am a sensualist. A hedonist. I tend to be a little overweight because I'll be damned if I'll deny myself the rich pleasures of decadence - I can get happy from imbibing an excellent chocolate, a complex wine, a divine sauce or a gooey dessert. . A guiding philosophy I have goes: "Moderation in everything - including Moderation. Sometimes excess is called for!" I remind myself to open my eyes and ears, widen my vision, sensitize my skin, awaken my taste buds and otherwise consciously be *alive* in my body. It's sometimes tempting to tune down the senses -- they are amazing and can seem overwhelming. But, it's unfortunate that most of us find that to have become a habit, the default. And not having noticed the loss, never choose to throw the switch the other way. Stop and Smell the Roses, they say. There's more, yet. Much.
Emotionally, I'm quite multi-faceted. Sometimes, it might seem as if I am two-faced or confused because I can be/think/feel/say seemingly contradictory things at the same time. It's probably my Moon being in Libra (my complete Astrological info) but I don't see things as black and white. I see life in a spectrum - a range. I am not stuck in (my) one worldview which is then projected onto everything and everyone. I see multiple explanations for reality. I can see both sides of most every coin. I can play the Devil's Advocate. I will make you think, argue, question and defend your position.
The downside to this is that I can suffer 'option paralysis', a.k.a. indecisiveness. With multiple choices, the 'best' path is not always immediately clear for me. "Chinese or Pizza" can stall me for half an hour. (sort of kidding!) :)
As a passionate person, my emotions tend to be intense. Combined with my 'spectrum' nature, I tend to have real highs and lows. Not bi-polar or manic-depressive, but not 'even-keeled' either. And, truth be told, I have issues around self-esteem and abandonment. But I am not a victim of anything - just another soul who has some challenges to face and lessons to learn.
On the Keirsey Temperment Sorter (Myers-Briggs) test my Personality
Profile puts me between and ENTJ and ENTP.
In terms of Personal ad type info, here is some of what I might say about myself:
Favorite Music/Artists: Dead Can Dance, Lords of Acid, Lorenna McKennitt, Covenent, Vas, Depeche Mode, Crystal Method, Chemical Brothers, Orbital, Janet Jackson, Nine Inch Nails, Kitaro, Black Sabbath, AC/DC.
Favorite Authors/Movies: Tom Robbins, R.A. Heinlein, Piers Anthony, Anne Rice (Beauty series), Fifth Element, The Matrix, Paint Your Wagon, Somewhere in Time, Star Wars (all), BraveHeart, Labyrinth.
Words that describe me: Wicked. Silly. Intelligent. Cynical. Emotive. Humorous. Moody. Analytical. Polysexual. Forgetful. Romantic. Kinky. Loving. Generous. Egotistical. Spontaneous. Organized. Lupine. Sexual. Argumentative. Casual. Intense. Giving. Demanding. Conversational. Spiritual. Dense. Wise. Arrogant. Bright. Quick-witted. Opinionated. Open-minded. Supportive. Lazy. Queer-positive. Elegant. Sensual. Reactive. Growing. Passionate. Vulnerable. Courageous. Heartful.
Some words that don't describe me: Married. Hardbody. Religious. Bigoted. Desparate. Passive. Straight. Socially-programmed. Predictable.
Things I do/enjoy: Singing, Renaissance Faires, SCA, the Net, middle eastern music and dance, and long philosophical conversations. People-watching, playing drums, and asking tough questions. Movies, books, contemplation and making a scene. Exploring, thinking out loud and holding someone who is hurting. Meditation, skipping down the lane and adlibbing songs. Naked moonlight dancing, body surfing, and camping. Leather crafting, board games, and sipping good port.
Well, that's a snapshot of me. Please, feel free to roam to the pages linked above or start back at the Home Page.
Random Stuff
- Read my LiveJournal (blog)
- I love blackberries and dark chocolate
- I'm glad to have pine trees in my backyard
- I don't do direct sunlight - keep me cool and shady!
- I love mountains and streams
- I don't really exercise
- Sometimes I like to help
- Most sports bore me
- My hair is going grey and thinning. :(
- I sleep about 7.5 hours
- I like to 'argue'
